Give me a break!

After 7 rounds of Clomid, 2 rounds of Femara, 4 months of progesterone suppositories, and one failed IUI…we are taking a much needed break.

I bet you thought I was going to say I’M PREGNANT, right?!?! I freaking wish.

I have mixed feelings about this break.

It feels a bit hypocritical. I am constantly talking about how I want a baby more than anything, but yet I’m willing to take a couple months off from trying to reach that goal?

Yep. I am. Ya know why? I need this god damn break.
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These four small words perfectly describe the way I feel. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. Its been 18 months of constant stress and disappointment. This disease has consumed my life for too long. My husband and I need some time to be ourselves.

We are taking just two months. Two months of no doctor appointments, no additional hormones, no sticking bullets up my hooha, no grabbing the thermometer as soon as I wake up, no ovulation tests, no pregnancy tests. Just live “normal” lives. I couldn’t be more excited. As soon we made this decision, I felt like I could breathe again. A weight was lifted.

It feels a bit selfish, but stress doesn’t help the baby making process and my stress level has been through the god damn roof.

Hell who knows, maybe those assholes who constantly say “if you just relax, it will happen”, will be right.

5 thoughts on “Give me a break!

  1. I understand you very well. And, it’s not silly at all what you are doing. Your brain, body, and heart need to relax to take with a lot of energy the next step in your journey. I’m in the middle of a situation like this, too. After 5 IUI and 1 IVF failed… I also need a brake (you are not alone!). We need to clean all this mixed feelings, those crazy hormones and the huge amount of pressure we put in ourselves.
    So, let’s practice how to have a real life again and charge our batteries to face what’s next. Enjoy your brake and I hope you can give the good new, soon.

    Like

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