You want me to stick that where?!?

Todays subject?


We found out through some blood tests that my progesterone levels were quite low. Progesterone is produced to thicken the uterine lining to prepare for implantation. It will also thin cervical mucus (yuck, such a gross word) which helps those spermies swim to where they need to go.

My doctor told me he prefers patients to have a progesterone level of 8-9. Mine was a measly 4. So he prescribed PROGESTERONE VAGINAL SUPPOSITORIES. The word suppository is bad enough, then add vaginal in front of it?!? Ick

Ick is a good word to describe the entire progesterone experience.

I was lucky enough to only have to take progesterone once a day. Some ladies have to do this 2-3 times a day.


The suppository itself looks like a little bullet. That is how my husband and I refer to it. “Gotta go put my bullet in”. Some suppositories come with an applicator, mine did not. I tried using a tampon applicator but felt it didn’t get that little guy up there quite far enough. You want to get it as close to your cervix as you can. So you shove that bullet up there and then need to lay down for 20-30 minutes so your body can absorb the progesterone. However, your body does not absorb everything. So you know what happens to the rest? It constantly oozes out. And it feels disgusting. It feels like you are walking around with lotion in your panties.

My advice for anyone starting progesterone suppositories, stock up on panty liners.

Progesterone will also help prevent miscarriages. I was instructed to start my bullets 36 hours after ovulation and continue until either I get my period or I am 10 weeks pregnant. That’s a long time to have lotion in your panties.

I also found the progesterone lengthened my cycle and therefore also delayed my period. You know what is a terrible thing to do to a woman experiencing infertility? Delay her period. I was soooo excited the first month I started the progesterone. My period was 3 days late. I thought for sure that was going to be the month I was finally knocked up! Nope. Just these stupid hormones messing with my cycle. Progesterone is kind of an asshole like that. It mimics many pregnancy symptoms.

  • dizziness, confusion, drowsiness, tiredness;
  • headache, mood changes, feeling nervous or irritable;
  • stomach pain, nausea, diarrhea, constipation;
  • bloating, swelling in your hands or feet;
  • breast pain, swelling, or tenderness;
  • cramps, pelvic pain; or.
  • vaginal itching, burning, or discharge

Sounds like fun right? You’re gonna feel like shit, you have to shove a bullet up your whoo whoo every night, aaand walk around with lotion in your panties. Ah the joys of infertility.


4 thoughts on “You want me to stick that where?!?

  1. Thank you, thank you! This is the first time in a while i have laughed that hard! “Lotion in your panties” 😂😂
    i haven’t had to do Progesterone supplements yet (hopefully never, especially after reading this 🤣), but i did have to use vaginal suppositories for a killer case of resistant BV i had several years ago, which required using a gel antibiotic vaginal suppository, so i know the feeling of lotion in your panties all to well!
    i have bookmarked your blog so that when i have time i can go back and read all your posts from the start.
    Sending you positive vibes and lots of baby dust!

    PS sorry for all the lowercase i’s… I have an iPhone so I’m trying to avoid the dreaded I️


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