I am going to start right off with a warning. This is not your average infertility blog. Before you read any further, I need you to do me a favor. Go up and press that little X in the right hand corner if any of the following pertain to you:
- If it makes you blush to say any of the following words: PENIS, VAGINA, PERIOD, SPERM, SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, or MASTURBATE.
- If you simply cannot handle any sort of cursing and do not want to be part of a community who does curse.
- If you just have a shitty sense of humor
Now that we have gotten rid of all the Debbie Downer’s, I can get on with the rest of my warning. I AM NOT A WRITER. The closest thing I have to a journalism degree is the communications class I failed out of in 2004. Feel free to judge my spelling, grammar, and use of punctuation. At the same time, please realize, I don’t give a damn.
On to the fun stuff! I am going to start off by telling you a little bit about myself and the ol’ ball and chain.
My name is Traci. I am 32 years old (but will forever remain 22 in my own mind). I am a healthy little broad. Not over or under the “ideal” weight for my height. No past of any sort of STD’s (THANK YOU, JESUS). No illness or diseases. No family history of any infertility or any problems with lady parts. I have actually been told by MORE THAN ONE doctor that I have a great looking cervix. So yeah, be jealous.
The man who is lucky enough to be married to that cervix is Logan. A health 29 year old hunk of a man. Logan also has no illness, no diseases, and no signs of any problems with man parts in his history. He has EXCELLENT sperm, which he likes to brag about often.
You are probably thinking “Why the hell do I care about your cervix or your husbands sperm?” Well my friend, what I am telling you is that there is NO GOD DAMN GOOD REASON that we are suffering from infertility.
Logan and I met about six years ago (who’s counting, right?). We were just young, fun loving kids and we met where all young, fun loving kids do. The local tavern. We shared a couple dances, maybe a little more, and that was that for awhile. Logan courted me for a bit, but I would have none of it. I was a wild woman and did not want to be tamed! However, my husband is a persistent and very stubborn man. Finally after about four months of avoiding him like the plague, I decided to give him a chance. And boy am I glad I did……………
I’ll be back with more later. If I give you all the good shit now, you’ll never come back
Please come back